Start Dating from the heart

Dating from the heart

I was laughing at late-night comedians' jokes again. I began hanging out with my friends again and found joy in their concern.

The sage counsel I sorely needed came from my best friends — men who loved me, didn't judge me and supported my need to rebuild my heart and spirit.

I shared my feelings about the breakup openly and honestly, and asked how they had managed their own heartbreaks.

The fact is, it's nearly impossible to hide a broken heart; I know I fooled no one when I was trying to do so.

My anxiety was evidenced by my inability to make eye contact with a date, which was a sign to women that the lights were on but no one was home emotionally.

I cooked terrific dinners for myself and ate them slowly and appreciatively. On the plus side, I developed skills that have subsequently helped me in relationships with both women and men.

I've become a better listener, and I no longer feel I have to fix anyone's problems.

I realized I hadn't been a good listener, which meant I was never really present on my dates.

In addition, I had avoided my feelings, but I was on friendly terms with them now.

They told me to do things like sit quietly at home, alone, and allow myself to feel the pain rather than continuing to avoid it by going out.

I needed to invite it in for as long as it took to heal.

They mentioned a few months of introspection as a good start. At first I kept the television on, but I couldn't pay attention — it was just noise.